Dating Tips

A father said, "Son, the object of dating is to SCORE! And to do that, you have to give the woman something. So when you pick up your date later, make sure you have some flowers or chocolates to give her. Girls go crazy over that stuff. The more you give, the more you get!"

So, he showed up with flowers AND chocolates. She was very flattered and pleased, and she rewarded him with a long, passionate kiss. She pressed her chest against him and rubbed her fingers through his hair, hoping to give him the best kiss that he had ever received. After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door.

"Oh! I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to scare you away."

"You didn't!" he replied. "I'm going out to get you some jewellery!"

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Gorilla Encounter

 Two gay guys are at the Zoo. They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.

An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"AM I HURT?" he shouts. "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called! He hasn't written!" 

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More Hilarious Jokes :

1) Girl's First time

2) Pregnant Daughter

3) Indian Election Application form

4) My dog is sex

5) Funny real funny

6) Indian Michel Jackson

7) Very strange sounds

8) Funny Marriage Proposal

9) Small cox Joke

10) Precher's Ass

11) First Thing FIrst
12) Who is real Father?

When Is Your Birthday

Mulla:  Mr. Sardar when is  your birthday?

Sardar: Next week, why?

Mulla:  So I can gift you curtains. I am quite bored seeing you having sex with your wife.

Sardar: Ok , But when is your birthday?

Mulla: Next month, why?

Sardar: So I can present you with binoculars. So you can see whose wife it is.

Moral:  It is not always that a Sardar is at receiving end of joke.

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Check these hilarious jokes too:
1. Better lover .. Wife or Maid?
2. Gentleman Husband.
3. Cheating Wife
4. Bank Robbery

5. Mom I know reason why dad left you.

6.Men Strike Back

7. White Baby Black Mom

8. Only 24 hours to Live

9. Mightiest of All

10. Little Johny In School.

7 Ways To Know The Make Of Your Phone

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS
MADE IN CHINA..
.
.
1. It gets full after 3 minutes of
charging..
2. The phone has TV, Touchscreen,
Nail cutter,
fire lighter etc.
3. Text message can be written with
a toothpick.
4. There are some spelling mistakes
e.g
NokLa, blackderry, i-porn, samswag
etc.
5. When an aeroplane passes by it
records"one missed call"
6. When a big truck hoots; it records
"charger connected"
7. When a Chinese man passes by
you it says"one Bluetooth device
found "

Check These Hilarious Jokes too

1. Anal Suppositiries

2. Oral Sex

3. Communication Gap

4. Intellegent Minister

5. Virgin Bride

6. Captain and Lovely Lady

7. I Love Genie

8. Who Am I

9. Pickle Slicer

10.Will You Marry Again

 

Never Lie To Your Mom

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Stephanie, was.
Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
Brian said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure.”
So he sat down and wrote:
“Dear Mother, I’m not saying that you “did” take the gravy ladle from the house, I’m not saying that you “did not” take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that Stephanie’s has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian
Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read:
“Dear Son, I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Stephanie, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom”
Lesson of the day…Never Lie to your Mother

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7. Happens only In India -4
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9. Happens only in India -6
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Hair Cut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.

The politician was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up,
there were a dozen politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

REMEMBER: POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON.

If you don't forward this, nothing bad will happen !
But someone will miss good a laugh 

--> Check these Hilarious Jokes/ Pics too.

1. Church Joke
2. Curren Affair Cartoons
3. Things Drunkard Say
4. Happens Only In India
5. Happens only in India - 2
6. Happens only In India- 3
7. Happens only In India -4
8. Happens only In India-5
9. Happens only in India -6
10. Happens only in India- 7