Race Horse

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.''

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, ''Nothing is wrong with me--it's this bloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?''

The trainer replies, ''Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!''

Check these hilarious jokes too:

1. Very Funny Marriage Proposal

2. Strange Sounds

3. Indian Michel Jackson

4. Indians Must Watch

5. My Dog's name is Sex

6. India's Elections Application Form

7. Pregnant Daughter

8. Did you pay for Sex with wife?

9. Poetic Boy Friends

10. Preacher Ass Show

Inflation

A stagecoach bounced down a rutted road, heading for Dallas. In the coach were a Texan, a very busty lady, and a greenhorn from the East.

The greenhorn kept eyeing the lady. Finally he leaned forward and said, "Lady, I'll give you ten dollars for a blowjob."

The Texan was appalled. He pulled out his pistol, shot the greenhorn right between the eyes, and shoved his body out the door.

The lady gasped and said, "Thank you, sir, for defending my honor!"

The Texan holstered his gun and said, "Your honor, hell! Just trying to keep down inflation. Around here, a blowjob goes for two bucks."

Check these hilarious jokes too:

1. Very Funny Marriage Proposal

2. Strange Sounds

3. Indian Michel Jackson

4. Indians Must Watch

5. My Dog's name is Sex

6. India's Elections Application Form

7. Pregnant Daughter

8. Did you pay for Sex with wife?

9. Poetic Boy Friends

10. Preacher Ass Show

Breathalyzer test

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell of liquor on her breath.

He said, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.'

She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car.

After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones.'

She replied, 'You mean it shows that, too?'

More hilarious jokes: 

1.  Black Mom White baby

2. Men Srike Back

3. Got F in Sex

4.  Any Witness?

5. Is your wife Cheating?

6. Real Gentleman Husband

7. Better lover ... Wife or maid?

8. Impressive talented Guy

9. Golden Bar

10.  How to out run a HARLEY DAVIDSON?

11. Best Italian Joke

12. Small Cox 

13  Smell of my Lover