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Sunday, April 14, 2013

Women Strike Back

Q. What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
A. You can enjoy all but the head.

Q. What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
A. They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.

Q. What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
A. They both get hot in 15 seconds.

Q. Why can’t a man be both good looking and intelligent?
A. Since that would make him a woman.

Q. Why is a man’s brain the size of a peanut?
A. Because it is swollen.

Q. Why are batteries better than men?
A. Batteries have at least one positive end.

Q. Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.

Q. Why are men like the letter Q?
A. Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.

Q. Why do fewer women get married these days?
A. Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the living room.

Q. What is the similarity between a video recorder and a man?
A. They go forwards, backwards, forwards, and backwards, stop and eject!

Q. Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?
A. It is rarer.

Q. Why do men prefer to marry virgins?
A. They cannot handle the criticism.

Q. What do you call an attractive, intelligent and sensitive man.
A. A rumor.

Q. Why don’t men go through menopause?
A. They never left puberty.



Q:Why do men have to flex their muscles around women so much?
A:Because they have nothing else to brag about.

Q:What is the best way to get a man to stop pestering you?
A:Stare at his crotch and laugh.

Q:Why do men never stop to ask for directions?
A:Because they aren't lost, they just don't know where they are.

Q:If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
A:YES!!!

Why do men think they're so superior if they have to become men while women just are?

3 ways to have fun with men:
1.tell him that this girl he likes wants a kiss
2.take out the batteries on the remote and then tell him that a Football game is on
3.wait till the first two are complete, then innocently tell him that you thought he knew better.

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