Famous words of Neil Armstrong

On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words, upon stepping on the moon, "That`s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind!" were televised to Earth and heard by millions.
Just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck, Mr Gorsky!" Many people thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, NASA confirmed there was no Mr Gorsky in either the Soviet or American space programs.
Over the years, people questioned Armstrong about the statement, but he only smiled. Finally, on July 5, 1995, at Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter once again brought up the 26-year old question to Armstrong.
This time, he responded. Mr Gorsky had died, and so Neil Armstrong felt he could now answer the question.
Apparently, in 1938, as a kid in a small mid-west town, he was playing baseball with a friend in his backyard. As his friend hit the ball, it landed in his neighbour`s yard, by their bedroom window. The neighbours were Mr and Mrs Gorsky.
As young Neil bent to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs Gorsky yelling at her husband, "Sex? You want sex? You`ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!

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Toast for wife

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me darling wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "What was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

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Different kInds of sex

Delhi University recently conducted a research on various kind of sex. They interviewed over a million people and came out with the research which took them 20 years to complete.Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And, last, but not least:
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

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These are real websites

All of these are legitimate companies, who didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online name might appear! They are hysterical! These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. 'Who Represents' is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity.
Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com

2. 'Experts Exchange' is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views.
Their website address is: www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than 'Pen Island'.
It can be found at: www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try 'Therapist Finder' at: www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company. Check it out at: www.powergenitalia.com

6. 'IP computer' software, there's always: www.ipanywhere.com

7. And the designers at 'Speed of Art' await you at their wacky Web site: www.speedofart.com

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Dumbest Kid ever

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over.
                                                  Sent By: Shiv N Sharma

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Fishing Trip

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.

 Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go but, what can they do...

 Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire. "Damn man! How long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

 "Well, I've been here since yesterday. The night before yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?" I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.

 She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over.

 She had handcuffs and ropes on the bed! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said "Do whatever you want!"

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Sex problems

You Know you have Sex Problems when:

1. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

2. When I was born, I was given a choice – A big ? or a good memory ………… I don’t remember, what I chose.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feeli ngs….’

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialler were too small..

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
…. A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing……

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life?
…. A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t.

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
…. A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!!

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