Adsense

Showing posts with label ship wreck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ship wreck. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Deserted guy

Photobucket


One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.

As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She approaches the stunned guy and says, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years," replies the stunned man.

With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.

Trembling the castaway replies, "Ten years."

She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.

He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"

At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"


Saturday, January 7, 2012

ship wrecked guy with 6 women

Photobucket
A fellow was shipwrecked with six lovely women who in a short time were fighting over his attentions.They held a meeting to resolve the problem anddecided that each would have his services on a different day of the week, with Sundays off for him.



In due time the guy was dragging himself through the week, looking forward to Sunday. As he lay an the beach one day he saw a dot floating on the sea which as it got closer turned out to be aman on a raft. He thought now we are two men , we would be able to divide girls and it would less hard work for me now to take care of three women rathar than six.  With his last ounce of strength he swam out, pulled the raft ashore, gave the occupant CPR and as he came around said to him;


“Oh man, amI ever glad to see you! “Goodness gracious, am I ever glad to see you too”said the raft rider in a swishy way.With a shrug of resignation the guy said… “Oh damn,there goes my Sundays!”


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Ship Wrecked Guy

Photobucket

A man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play with himself.

After many years, even that became so monotonous that he couldn't even get an erection. Now, completely without any happiness, his sanity began to slip away.

One morning, as he is lying on the beach, he thinks he sees a ship in the distance. He quickly starts a fire, and then throws wet seaweed on top until smoke is billowing high in the air. The ship starts to come his way!

He gets all excited and thinks, "Finally! I'm going to be saved! The first thing I want is to take a long, hot shower. Then they're going to give me some clothes and I'm going to go upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a nice lady to dance with, then I will take to her cabin and we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She'll start to take off her clothes and she'll be wearing red silk panties!"

At this, he gets an erection. He slips his hand into his shorts, grabs his pecker, and yells, "Ha Ha Ha!! I fooled you! I lied about the ship!"

Check these hilarious jokes too:

1. Gay Goes to Hell
2. New CEO
3. How to be a Nasty Bitch
4 Bible and coffee
5.Generous Lawyer
6. Calories consumed in sex
7. Driving Styles
8.Unfaithful Wife

Royal Wait9.Birds & Bees
Royal Wait