Crack In The Shoe

Luigi walks to work 20 blocks everyday and passes a shoe store twice every day. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much... it's all he can think about. After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchased them.

Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement. Luigi seizes this opportunity to wear his new Armani leather shoes for the first time.

He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?"

Startled, Sophia replies, "Yes, Luigi , I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?"

Luigi answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?"

Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, "Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?"

Rosa answers, "Yes, Luigi , I do, but how do you know that?"

He replies, "I see the reflection in my new$300 Armani leather shoes... How do you like them?"

Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns red... He states, "Carmela, be stilla my heart. Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please, please, tella me this true!" Carmela smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Luigi , I wear no panties tonight..."

Luigi gasps, "Thanka Goda ....I thought I had a CRACK in my$300 Armani leather shoes...!"
. . . .

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9) Small cox Joke 

10)  Precher's Ass

New Client

A saleswoman from a major condom company was required to travel cross-country to meet a perspective buyer.
Her boss asked her to take about 100 condoms of various types with her. As she was running late for her flight, she simply stuffed them all into her briefcase.
The cab ride to the airport was delayed by traffic and she had just enough time to throw her ticket at the counter and run onto the plane.
As she jumped into the airplane, she dropped her briefcase and all the condoms flew out all over the floor in front of all the passengers and crew.
They all stared amazed at the display and then looked to the woman who said sheepishly, "I'm meeting a new client." 

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4. Bank Robbery

5. Mom I know reason why dad left you.

6.Men Strike Back

7. White Baby Black Mom

8. Only 24 hours to Live

9. Mightiest of All

10. Little Johny In School.

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Dating Tips

A father said, "Son, the object of dating is to SCORE! And to do that, you have to give the woman something. So when you pick up your date later, make sure you have some flowers or chocolates to give her. Girls go crazy over that stuff. The more you give, the more you get!"

So, he showed up with flowers AND chocolates. She was very flattered and pleased, and she rewarded him with a long, passionate kiss. She pressed her chest against him and rubbed her fingers through his hair, hoping to give him the best kiss that he had ever received. After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door.

"Oh! I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to scare you away."

"You didn't!" he replied. "I'm going out to get you some jewellery!"

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Gorilla Encounter

 Two gay guys are at the Zoo. They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.

An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"AM I HURT?" he shouts. "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called! He hasn't written!" 

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2) Pregnant Daughter

3) Indian Election Application form

4) My dog is sex

5) Funny real funny

6) Indian Michel Jackson

7) Very strange sounds

8) Funny Marriage Proposal

9) Small cox Joke

10) Precher's Ass

11) First Thing FIrst
12) Who is real Father?

When Is Your Birthday

Mulla:  Mr. Sardar when is  your birthday?

Sardar: Next week, why?

Mulla:  So I can gift you curtains. I am quite bored seeing you having sex with your wife.

Sardar: Ok , But when is your birthday?

Mulla: Next month, why?

Sardar: So I can present you with binoculars. So you can see whose wife it is.

Moral:  It is not always that a Sardar is at receiving end of joke.

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2. Gentleman Husband.
3. Cheating Wife
4. Bank Robbery

5. Mom I know reason why dad left you.

6.Men Strike Back

7. White Baby Black Mom

8. Only 24 hours to Live

9. Mightiest of All

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7 Ways To Know The Make Of Your Phone

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS
MADE IN CHINA..
.
.
1. It gets full after 3 minutes of
charging..
2. The phone has TV, Touchscreen,
Nail cutter,
fire lighter etc.
3. Text message can be written with
a toothpick.
4. There are some spelling mistakes
e.g
NokLa, blackderry, i-porn, samswag
etc.
5. When an aeroplane passes by it
records"one missed call"
6. When a big truck hoots; it records
"charger connected"
7. When a Chinese man passes by
you it says"one Bluetooth device
found "

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Never Lie To Your Mom

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Stephanie, was.
Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
Brian said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure.”
So he sat down and wrote:
“Dear Mother, I’m not saying that you “did” take the gravy ladle from the house, I’m not saying that you “did not” take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that Stephanie’s has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian
Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read:
“Dear Son, I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Stephanie, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom”
Lesson of the day…Never Lie to your Mother

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