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Showing posts with label dirty joke of the day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dirty joke of the day. Show all posts

Monday, July 9, 2012

Grandma and Oranges

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A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.


"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you are so old... how do you do it?"


Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck them dry!"


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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Blonde At Toy Factory

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There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes "The Tickle Me Elmo" toys. The toy laughs whenou tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory & on her first day start work at 8:00 AM.
Next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at l Manager's door. The Foreman begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow & the whole line is backing up, putting entire production line behind schedule.
Manager decides to see this for himself When he get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and are really beginning to pile up.


At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric & a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he approaches Lena.


"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, but I think you misunderstood the instructions yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles".
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