Cheating Wife

A guy thought his wife was cheating on him.So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her he found out she was working in a whorehouse. The guy says to the cabbie, "Wanna make a $ 100?" The cabbie says, "Sure, what do I have to do?". The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the whorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and take them home. So the cabbie goes in. A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open, and the cabbie is dragging this woman out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab. The cabbie opens the door to the cab, throws the girl inside, and tells the man, "Here, hold her!!" The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, "THIS AIN'T MY WIFE". The cabbie replied, "I KNOW, IT'S MINE; I'M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!".

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Boss Present to Secretary

A Secretary Got An Expensive Pen As Birthday Gift From His Boss.

She Sent His Boss A ‘Thank You Note’ Via E-Mail.

But, Her Boss’s Wife Read The Note And Filed A Divorce.

The Note Was

“Your Penis Wonderful, I Enjoyed Using It Last Night.

It Has Extra-Ordinarily Smooth Flow And Firm Strokes.

Initially Its Tip Was To Be Licked To Bring It In Working Order And

Then It Was Equally On Both Sides.

I Loved Its Perfect Size And Grip.

I Felt As In Heavens Using It.

I Had Always Desired It And Fulfilled My Wish.

At Last It Is Mine And Only Mine, Forever.

Thanks A Lot.”

Moral: “Space Is An Essential Part Of English.”

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How to recognise your husband?

Three women were returning to their Hungarian village when they spotted a man, obviously very inebriated, walking ahead of them.

As they watched him stumbling, he fell face down into a mud puddle. When they walked up to him, one woman turned him over to see if she recognized him.

However, his face was so covered with mud that she bent over and unzipped his pants.

She remarked, "Well, he's not my husband."

The second woman peering over her shoulder agreed, "Your right, he's not your husband."

The third woman, somewhat older than the other two, bent over to look and said, "He's not from our village."

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How to go home late drunk

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"


His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....And she's always sound asleep."

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Golden Bar

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.

"Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands.

"At this new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor and even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.

"Yes it is," bartender answers.

"Do you have huge golden doors?"

"Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"

"Most certainly do."

"What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!"

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