Laugh A Bit: Electric chair joke

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Can anyone answer this?

Bus Conductor Joke

Once upon a time there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't
stop the bus.
Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot.
Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.
He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately, this time also,the good looking
middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.
Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.
The conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.
This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived.
The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.
This time the conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus.
Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries.
The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong,but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment. The conductor was again taken to the same
electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room .
He was strapped to the chair and high
voltage current was given to him.
This time he died instantly !

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions ,but died instantly the third time??

Can any reader who is reading this answer this one?

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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Indian Hell

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen..."